I really like it up here on my high horse. No, I’m not talking about Ender. I’m talking about my perch of vegan moral superiority, from which I can gaze down upon all the lowly non-vegans eating their cheeseburgers and drinking their milkshakes and remind myself how truly compassionate I am to not partake in such brutality. As I sip on my elixir of liquid sanctimony and snack on my bonbons of self-righteousness I can feel confident that because of my dietary choices I truly, truly am better than everyone else.

Okay. Not really. I don’t think I’m better than anyone else at all, and neither do any of the vegans I know, even though a lot of omnivores assume we do. But I do think being a vegan is one of the best choices a person can make. It is an all around great way to live your life.

It should be obvious that I wouldn’t be a vegan if I didn’t think it was the best possible choice to make. If I didn’t feel with certainty that it was the best thing for the animals, the environment, and my health, I wouldn’t have devoted so much of my time and energy to promoting the vegan lifestyle. That should just be common sense – of course I think it is the best way to live! Does that mean that I believe it makes me better than someone who is not vegan? No. Does that mean that I believe my choices are better than someone who is not vegan? Sure.

However.

Many of you probably know that I am actively involved in animal rights and feminist activism, and given where I live most of this takes place on-line. Recently, in an on-line discussion about the notion of ‘the personal is political’ and living our ideals in our day to day life, I was criticized quite heavily by another vegan for over eating and for consuming processed and packaged food. I was told that because I overeat my fair share of food, eat potato chips from mainstream manufacturers, and buy vegan products from not exclusively vegan companies that I was doing more harm than good, letting the movement down, and not really practicing what I preach.

Whoa.

My first instinct, as most people’s often is when they are criticized, was to be defensive. ‘Me!?! How can I be letting the movement down!?! I do so much!‘ I insisted indignantly. After a few minutes of this I started to realize that I was sounding an awful lot like (okay, exactly like) non-vegans whenever I criticize their food choices. I was making so many excuses I couldn’t even see straight…and it was all starting to feel a little too familiar. Only I had never been on this side of the fence before.

Once I stopped my defensive posturing and slowed my boiling rage to a simmer and really listened…I had to agree that my criticizer had a point.

What my criticizer was trying to make me understand was that maybeI hadn’t drawn my line sufficiently far enough on the side of veganism. While the food I eat might technically be vegan, ultimately I am ‘half-assing’ it.

Here was the gist of their argument -

Veganism is not about being perfect. No one says it is. While we all try to reduce the suffering and death of animals as much as possible, we all acknowledge that it would be impossible to live a life in which we never harmed anything.

For example, when I drive my car down the street, without even knowing it I probably run over bugs galore. Not to mention that cars are filled with animal derived products, more than just the leather interiors. But I tell myself that I need my car to get around and to get to and from work/shopping/etc.

What about shopping? I try not to participate in mindless consumerism as much as possible and haven’t really bought new clothes in years. But sometimes I’ll find something truly special. If it is vegan, fair trade, sustainably produced, etc, I might buy it. But even then it isn’t really completely innocent of damaging the planet. In the production, manufacturing, shipping, marketing, etc, animals were killed, resources destroyed or depleted, and if I don’t really need the article of clothing it was all completely unnecessary. How can that be justified?

If I were to get seriously ill and the doctor prescribed me a round of medication, I would take it without a second thought even though it most likely contained animal derived ingredients. And since all medications in the USA, by law, have to be tested on animals, it would not be remotely cruelty free. But I would take it because I don’t want to get sick.

There are some who argue that my favorite brand of vegan margarine, Earth Balance, isn’t even vegan because in the production of one of its main components, palm oil, the habitat of orangutans is destroyed leading to their subsequent death and endangerment. So, I pay for a product that is technically vegan in that it contains no animal derived ingredients, and yet my money goes into the coffers of a company that kills millions of animals every year, which means I, in effect, fund that killing. But I use Earth Balance because it is my favorite brand.

Cellphone towers kill millions of migrating birds every single year. And yet I would be lost without my cell phone. So I continue to cart it around with me everywhere I go and I continue to pay my money to companies that erect tower after tower, killing the beautiful birds in droves.

Even though the food that I eat is always vegan, I know that in the harvesting and processing of that food animals were killed. They were killed when wild animals lost their habitat so the field could be cleared and planted, they were killed when the tractor drove through the field and over their burrows to harvest the crops, and they were killed by the factory and warehouses and trucks and boats and planes used to package and process and ship me the food. But since I have to eat to survive, I do.

But what about over eating vegan foods? Even the harvesting of whole, organic, local vegan food causes the death of animals, so when I choose to eat more than I need, I am ultimately causing more harm than is absolutely necessary.

The thing is….I love to eat. A lot. All the time. I definitely eat more than I need to, way, way more. I could survive and probably be quite healthy on much less. And because I love to eat so much and am eating way more food than I need to eat to survive, more animals are being killed. I am not eating the tiny field mice or rabbits or birds or snakes directly, but because I choose to eat unnecessarily just to satisfy my gluttony, more animals are dying because of me.

I can say that I’m already an activist, putting myself out there day after day trying desperately to change the world, so I deserve an extra bowl of salad or a big chocolate bar now and then. It’s vegan, after all. But…all those extras add up to the deaths of thousands and thousands of animals and the destruction of their habitat. And really, how is me saying ‘I deserve it’ any different than an omnivore saying they ‘deserve’ an omelet or a cheese pizza? Both of our choices ultimately involve the death of innocent animals. Both are unnecessary.

So. Can I still really call my triple serving of roast veggies’cruelty-free’? What about the processed and packaged and shipped from overseas soy ice cream? Or the 2nd helping of raw chocolate bon bons?

Where do we draw the line?

I hope you didn’t read this expecting any answers, because I have none. This idea has not quit rolling around my head since I first started thinking about it. I just wanted to know your view.

How can I cling to my belief that veganism is the best and most cruelty free way to live when, because of my gluttony, I could be creating even more pain and suffering than someone who lives like an ascetic but eats the occasional egg?

How can I claim that my diet by virtue of being vegan is any sort of remedy for a planet in crisis when so much of it is processed and packaged and imported?

How can I roll my eyes and sneer when I hear yet another omnivore spout excuses and claim she is doing the best she can, when I’m not even sure I’m doing the best I can?

I hope no one thinks I am criticizing the validity or importance of a vegan lifestyle. I would never, never do that. I believe with all of my heart that a commitment to living a cruelty free vegan life is a moral baseline, a basic bit of decency we should all commit to.

And I don’t want to sound like the people who brush off the vegan lifestyle by saying that since we can’t possibly prevent all pain and death we might as well not worry about any of it. I have to believe that we should all do the best we can, even while acknowledging that none of us can ever hope to have no negative impact on the planet.

And I don’t mean to suggest in any way that we take all the indulgence and extravagance and joy out of our life and deny ourselves any kind of unnecessary pleasure, because ultimately it isn’t really unnecessary at all. We need those little things, that extra glass of almond milk, the second slice of raw pumpkin pie, the 3rd bowl of edamame, to give our lives sparkle and laughter and fulfillment. But I’m curious to know how the animals that are killed in the production of my ‘vegan’ indulgences are any less worthy of saving than the animals killed for an omnivore’s steak? Why is the omnivore’s indulgence abhorrent while mine is justified?

What I am hoping to do with this post is start a conversation. When is enough enough? Is it enough just to be vegan? After all, just because the food we eat and the products we buy are technically vegan does not really mean they are cruelty free. Whenever we live beyond our needs we are causing unnecessary death and damage.

Don’t worry, I’m not ready to go all anarcho-primitivist on you yet, I’m just…wondering….

(image source)