6:00 am – Polly wakes up and shakes her head, flopping her ears loudly from side to side. She does this every morning at this time from her bed right at the side of my bed, and it is my wakeup call.
I’m a light sleeper so my eyes are open instantly and I’m out of bed. I first brush my teeth, wash my face, and brush my hair. Then I’ve got to take the dogs outside and feed them and the cats. Not a small task when there are 6 critters demanding their breakfast NOW. Usually I stay in bed and Cody handles all of this, but he had to take a short business trip to Bahrain yesterday so the task falls to me today.
6:20 am – Dogs are fed, cats are fed, time to tend to Volvo.
Volvo is our ancient German Sheperd and he hasn’t been doing too well lately. We rescued him in Bahrain 2 years ago in the most disgusting condition I’ve ever seen. He was living at a stables, surrounded by horses imported from Europe that were in pristine condition, but he was literally starving too death because his nails had been allowed to grow so long he couldn’t walk. He had no skin on his back because of an infection and his eyes and ears were bloody and swollen shut from flies.
When we rescued him and took him to the vet he was given only 2 weeks to live. So, we made him comfortable and tended to his infections and his nails and gave him plenty of food and water and medicine. He completely recovered from his sicknesses; his skin healed and hair grew back, he gained weight and started walking again. He was a very old dog to begin with (the vet estimates he is around 13) so his hips were never quite right, he couldn’t really run or move too quickly so we kept him on joint treatments and arthritis medications. But he was happy. We walked him and he would relax in the grass while our other dogs ran and played. He loved his food, he even made reluctant friends with our cats.
After about a year he lost the ability to control his bowels, but we just cleaned him up and bathed him all the time and he still seemed happy. He lives outside in our beautiful and shady garden most of the time, only being brought inside during the hottest part of the day or coldest part of the night. We put his bed on plastic tarping to catch any ‘accidents’. (Just so you know, we are not ‘outside dog’ kind of people, we are very much ‘inside dog’ people. Dogs belong inside with their people at all times! Our beds, couches, everything we own is our dogs’ property and they are totally the bosses of the house. But we just can’t keep Volvo inside full time anymore after he started pooping on himself.)
About 5 months ago he lost most of his ability to control his bladder, so we just cleaned him up even more. But about a month ago he started losing the ability to stand up on his own and get around. It seems like his back legs are completely gone. They’ve always been weak but now they don’t even function. We pick him up and help support him as he walks around the yard, we turn him every few hours so he doesn’t get sore, and we massage him several times a day to keep the blood flowing. But unfortunately, nothing has helped. We are taking him to the vet tomorrow to see what can be done. Please keep him in your thoughts, hopefully he can be helped.
The difficult thing is that I am not sure what he wants. Even though we have had him for 2 years now I still don’t feel like I really know him. This is shocking to me since I am the world’s foremost dog lover. 5 minutes after meeting a dog I can read them like a book and I am always head over heels in love with them. But while Volvo recovered from his physical ailments he never really interacted with us too much. He always kept to himself, preferring to watch our dogs while barely acknowledging me or Cody. He is not scared of us at all but he doesn’t make eye contact or ever seek out our affection. I love him and want the best for him but since I don’t really know him I feel like it is an impossible decision to make.
So, after all the dogs and cats were fed I went out into the yard, washed Volvo off, cleaned his face, stood him up for a while, supporting his weight completely, walked him around the yard a bit. Found a nice shady spot and settled him down and gave him a short massage. When I was done I went inside and washed up.
6:45am – Start feeling sorry for myself. Cody and I are pathetically, overwhelmingly, completely enraptured with each other so being apart for even one day affects us both pretty hard. I feel like a piece of me is missing when he isn’t around and even though we have been together for 5 years this doesn’t seem to be fading. Luckily business trips are a very rare occurrence and when they do come up it is only for one of two nights. We have it easy, I know. I don’t see how people handle long distance relationships or having a spouse in the military. The thought of those endless deployments just sends shivers down my spine!
Cody and I talked for hours on the phone last night but I still can’t get enough. I give him a call to wake him up and we talk and laugh. He feels the same way as I do so our conversations get a little melodramatic and ridiculous. He will be home tonight – I can’t wait!
7:00 am – Time to check my email. And answer email. Lots of email. I need an assistant to check and answer my email for me. I will pay you in cupcakes and sambusa.
7:30 am – Check all of my favorite news sites and save the stories I want or need to read later.
8:00 am – It’s Green Smoothie Time! I can’t start my day without one of these; I just love them so much. I take my dogs outside, relax on my lounge chair and sip my smoothie while listening to the birds chirping. After I’m done I go move Volvo around again and give his back legs a stretch.
8:30 am – Work. Which means research and writing. I’m currently writing a book that combines all of my favorite things: politics, feminism, veganism, consumerism, anti-globalization, etc. Right now I’m in the research and preliminary outline/sparse writing stage, which means that I get distracted constantly. In doing the research I have to use the web a lot, which means there are a zillion different chances for me to get sidetracked. MUST FOCUS.
8:37am – Oh no. Cody is on-line too and now we are chatting. He seems to be missing me even more than I miss him. Poor guy! I distract him by telling him silly stories of what our goofy dogs have been up to since he left yesterday.
9:00 am – Force myself to say goodbye to Cody and focus on my work. Research, read, write, delete, contemplate throwing my computer out the window, this is not going well and I am incapable of writing a word. Wait, now I’ve got an idea….oh this is good…okay, here we go….
11:00 am – Wrap up my writing, take the dogs outside for a bathroom break, give Volvo a walk around the yard, feed all of the dogs lunch, then head to the gym. (Call Cody on the way there to tell him I love him and miss him.)
11:30 am – 30 minutes on the elliptical. I love this machine because it is easy on my knees but it seems to strain my lower back a bit.
12:00 pm – 30 minutes on the summit climber. I love this thing! Makes me feel so strong! The last five minutes are pretty hellacious as the women who starts working out next to me has apparently spent the past week bathing in the stinkiest perfume I’ve ever smelled. Seriously, my eyes were watering.
12:30 pm – 12:31 pm – Stretching. I know, I KNOW I need to do more stretching. I just hate it so much. Any tips out there for how I can easily incorporate it into my routine?
12: 45 pm – Home from the gym, time for SHOWER.
1:15 pm – eat my delicious lunch (raw cashew cheeze pate on crackers topped with avocado and hot sauce and a big raw veg salad with basil balsamic dressing) and relax with my sweet dingos. Answer more emails and accept a writing assignment for a short article with an option for a short series. Cody calls and we chat for a few minutes just to say hi and I send a few emails to friends and family.
2:00 pm – Back to work. Luckily I manage to pick up my train of thought from earlier and I’m on a roll. The time flies by and I can’t believe it when I check the clock.
3:30 pm – Take the dogs outside for a bathroom break, walk Volvo around and rub his legs. Spot our cat Twilah lounging in the grass. She thinks we can’t see her so she bats at us every time we walk by. Cats are so weird, and Twilah seems to be even weirder than the average cat.
3:45 pm – Head out to the stables to ride my sweet horse Ender. I love love love him desperately, it is unreal. We have a blast going for a nice ramble through the desert and a lazy gallop through the grass. He is loving life here in horsey paradise, and I’m so happy he is happy. Being out in the beautiful sunshine with the wind on my face feels so amazing!
5:00 pm – Home, feed the dogs their dinner, harness them up and take them for a long walk. Usually Cody and I do this together, just like everything else in our lives, and we laugh and talk the whole time. I miss him so, so, so much. We must be psychic because he calls me during the middle of the walk and even though it is hard to juggle a phone and 3 dogs all pulling in different directions, I manage.
6:00 pm – Home from our walk, the dogs are tuckered out. Time for my dinner now. I roasted up a ton of veggies with lots of sea salt and garlic, added some black beans and piled it all on top of a bit of quinoa. And I had to have more of that cashew cheese pate, of course!
6:30 pm – After my feast I take all the dogs outside so we can enjoy the beautiful evening. I walk Volvo around and massage him as I watch the sun set. This is the hardest part of the day for me to be away from Cody and I can’t wait to see him in a few hours. I miss my best friend!
7:00 pm – Check up on all of my favorite feminist, vegan and political blogs, make comments, and brainstorm about future articles. Snack on a delicious homemade pomegranate blueberry juice and fresh strawberry popsicles. Yum!
8:00 pm – Head to the kitchen to make a green smoothie for Cody. I make him one every day to drink as soon as he gets home from work. Usually he is home by 5:45pm but his business trip has thrown him off schedule and he will be home a few hours late today. Can’t wait till he walks through the door and I can hug him and kiss him!
8:15 pm – Green smoothie done, time to relax and read the books currently sitting on my bedside table. I am an insatiable reader, a veritable book fiend, I plow through at least 2 or 3 a week. This week it is: The Essential Chomsky, and Feminism without Borders. I love both of these books, they are essentials for any politically minded feminist and I highly recommend them.
9:00 pm – CODY IS HOME! Gotta go, 24 hours is way too long for these lovebirds to be apart. Hope you are having a great day wherever in the world you are!
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Poor Volvo! My parents had a Pekingese, who had the same leg problem. He lived a couple of years with it. My mother would use a sling made from an old towel to take him on a short walk. She’d wrap the sling around his back, right in front of his back legs so that he was able to walk with his front legs while my mother would support his body. I hope there’s a cure for Volvo.
I loved reading this post.
<3 Very best wishes to Volvo… sweet boy. <3
Unfortunately, Volvo spent most of his life being abused and ill treated. I’m a former animal shelter caretaker, and I’ve seen this all too much. But think of it this way, Volvo knows that you care for him, and he does care for you, even though he’s standoffish. He does allow you in his space, doesn’t he? All you can do is give him the loving treatment that you already do, and make him comfortable in his twilight years. He knows you love him, he just can’t show it.
I’ll send him some positive energy and keep him in my thoughts. You’re very lucky to have him in your life.
Blessings on sweet Volvo. My family’s GSD Lady, whom we had for maybe 10 years until she passed when I was 17, also eventually lost the use of her legs and control of her bowels. We don’t think she was in any pain; she simply couldn’t walk or feel when she needed to go out. It saddens me to remember how impatient I was with her, and it pains me that I wasn’t more compassionate. I’m thinking good thoughts for Volvo.
How’s that book coming? I’m a super editor
Stretching: I love yoga, so I’m a stretching fiend. If you don’t want to go that route, stretch in the shower and while you’re cooking. Seriously, stand at the stove and stretch. Stretch in bed when you wake up and go to sleep. Just do it, or you’ll be all stiff and crotchety before you know it! I’ll send you stretches if you want!
Thank you, Shannon! It sounds like your sweet old dog had something very similar to Volvo. Cody is loading him into our car right now to take to the vet. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
Yes please, I would love fr you to send me some stretches! Thank you!
um, CUTEST!
oh Volvo… poor guy
I send him healthy and peaceful thoughts!
I love your day, it sounds perfect! And I love hearing about people so in love!! I feel the same way here too… it’s an amazing feeling!!
Hope you are well
Jess
I love having green smoothies first thing in the morning to!
Love how you have one already made for Cody.
I loved this post! It made me laugh! And I can totally relate to all of your ‘missing Cody’ moments…
Aw Vovlo I love him and I haven’t even really met him (poor fella). Man you lead an even busier life than me Tasha. But better make some time for when I come home and I have my first raw dinner party. You are definitely coming!!!!
Of course I am! I can’t wait to feast on all that beautiful raw food you’ve been learning how to make.
This whole post filled up my heart up in an achy sort of way… between the sweet way you talk about yourself and Cody and the utter love and devotion you have for “your” animals, it’s almost too adorable! You and Cody treat your animals with such respect; it’s really wonderful. Even if you don’t think you really know what Volvo wants, it seems to me like whatever decision you make (if it were the case that you needed to make one) will be made with the utmost compassion and thoughtfulness.
My family has a miniature dachshund who ruptured a disc in her spine a few years ago. Some people said we should just have put her down when that happened, but that thought was absolutely horrifying to us. Instead, we got her a wheely cart and put her in diapers, which we change when the need arises. She can be barky and silly and annoying, but she’s part of our family, and that’s what we needed to do to keep it that way. It makes me happy to find other people who really understand that.
So, all that is to say that I’m sending you all sorts of positivity and good thoughts. Hope things work out for Volvo.
I love this post; a great idea, and so demonstrative of what it’s like to be away from your loved one and waiting for their return with such anticipation. And your food looks so yummy, as always. Hope you had a great time catching up
Oh when I was first married and scott would travel, I felt just so lonely. It was awful! Now, married for 9 yrs and a child, I dont miss him as much per se but the workload!!! of caring for a child alone is tough. He just got home from a work dinner at 11:15pm for the 1st break ive had today. Since 7am with Skylar. And he leaves Wed crack of dawn and home Sat. am. for a work trip. He travels a week a month. Lonliness has been replaced by sheer work! Ok this sounds awful, so I’ll stop. But I empathize and single parents or those w/ a spouse in the military, dont know how they do it!
Hi Tasha, this is a belated thank you for stopping by my blog when I linked to your super-awesome almond cheese, but really, I read your post about the care you take of your animals, and of volvo, and then saw your tweets about volvo today, and I just wanted to say that your compassion is incredibly inspiring and touching. I am so sorry that volvo’s condition has deteriorated and that you are coming to the point of having to make a decision. I do not know much about dogs, but with cats, several people have explained to me that cats will let you know when it is time (I sadly know several people whose cats have had cancer in recent months). You are so in touch with volvo that I do believe he will let you know – I know you said he was standoffish, but like one of the commenters above said, he lets you into his space, and I am sure he has had two very wonderful years with you. I am keeping you and volvo and your family in my thoughts.
Well, my husband and I have been married almost 25 years, and we’ve had long distance relationships a few times throughout our marriage due to his job, the last one just ending only a year ago. I’ve learned over the years how to be on my own. To even enjoy being on my own. I also know that I prefer it (most of the time) when we’re together.
I’ve always been the primary animal caretaker. DH is not much help there.
I am sorry to hear about Volvo. What wonderful thing you have done, rescuing him. It can be very hard to know what to do even when you are bonded with them. I had a cat who lived to 21, the last 5 years of her life with kidney disease. It was a lot of work caring for her in the end, but it was so hard to know when to let her go. I’ve really never had the experience of an animal letting me know, and I am very, very bonded with my animals.
Cute post. So sorry about Volvo, we had a German Shepard mix that developed a lot of the same problems in his old age, it was heart breaking. I feel the same when when hubby gets stuck at work for hours or on a trip, better since we’ve been together for over 12 years, I’ve learned to embrace my alone/downtime, but still not easy.
you and Cody are too sweet to care so much for Volvo. he’s such a handsome man. i’m sorry that he hasn’t been doing the best lately, Tasha – i’ll keep him in my thoughts. as soon as i wake up i’m wide-eyed and busy tailed as well. hooray for having so many kittehs and pooches to love on! i enjoy the elliptical and i’m gonna have to take a look around my gym to see if we have one of those summit climbers. they sound intense and awesome, and i could always use a new workout machine to throw into my routine. i’m digging all of your eats as well, Tasha – so yum (especially the cashew cheeze plate)!
hey lady. glad you got your snuggle buddy back. I’m sending happy thoughts + love to Volvo!
Oh Tasha, I’m SO sorry. My heart breaks for you and Cody and Volvo but I’m sending good thoughts, love and positivity. I have no advice, but I have a pup of my own and cannot imagine what you’re going through. xoxo
Hi Tasha, I just found your blog. I adored this post, what an absolutely wonderful day and how blessed you are to have such awesome animals and soul mate in your life. I’m so sorry about Volvo. My childhood dog Taffy became very sick with cancer toward the end of her life, and lost control of her bodily functions as well. She was very unhappy, so it was not a tough decision for me to let her have peace — I could tell she was tired, just wiped, and I knew she’d had a wonderful life. I can understand the frustration of not being able to “read” Volvo, thereby being unsure of how best to help him. He must know how dearly you love him though, and I know he is grateful for this peace and tranquility at he nears his sunset. I realize this comment is more than a month after the post — I just wanted to tell you.
Your blog is wonderful and I’m already hooked.